A wedding day celebration is a beautiful thing filled with opportunities for wonders and blunders. It is probably the largest event that any one person will plan in a lifetime. Getting the task done can be all-consuming and at times nerve wracking. It is no doubt why authorities put weddings high on the stress lists. This article is meant to give you "20/20 hindsight" before the fact and perhaps some comic relief. As you read about true "Bloops and Blunders" from real-life wedding experiences, you will reap your own "Signs and Wonders" finding a better path for your event by avoiding similar pitfalls. So, sit back and learn from the mistakes of others, keeping in mind that no mistake or malfunction ever kept any couple from getting married - the main reason for the planning.

Late Weddings

I have seen wedding ceremonies get late starts for the strangest reasons. Usually I am the harpist, and can not get up to walk around the wedding site to get information updates. I am playing the prelude or pre-service music which should be seamless and flow into the processional. I have, therefore, had to resort to a well placed "pssst!" from time to time just to get someone to clue me in as to what is going on! Why no one ever considers it important to tell the musician the wedding is running late is beyond me. After all, the musician is key to the beginning of the ceremony. A musical prelude that would normally be 25-30 minutes can become an hour long concert in a late starting wedding. I have done over 1200 weddings. To date, my longest prelude was two hours in length. Yes, I and all the guests waited two hours for the bride to arrive. I played without stopping because I was sure she would arrive at any moment. I would have done so even if someone had told me the wedding was running late. Of course I figured that out on my own. However, communication is what mentally prepares the professional to make the best choices for the circumstance. My job is to keep the mood for the bride's entrance, or in this case, to entertain the guests while they wait. Music is a wonderful crowd pleaser and there are musical things that can be done to help smooth over such delays - choice of key and feel of music are very important to pass "spans-of-time." It takes an attentive professional to pull that off. The sign and wonder for you in this story is: Hire professional musicians who can handle stress and don't forget to clue them in during your event.

Recently, I was the vocalist for a wedding which left me free to move around during the pre-service. This wedding was in a local church that does many ceremonies in a day. There were two weddings scheduled that same afternoon. The first wedding started very late because the church was not unlocked in a timely fashion. The result was two wedding parties and all of their guests ending up at the church at the same time - one was finishing the service as the other was arriving for their pre-service time. How did the second wedding regain its schedule? The new florist began decorating the church while the other wedding took pictures. The altar flowers and unity candle were done once the other photographer was finished with the first wedding's photos. Finally and most importantly, we got the ushers to seat the next weddings' guests as soon as the seats were free in the church. The ushers doing this separated the mixed guests in the courtyard and got the organization flowing again. The musician was asked to play to buffer the whole thing and the seating of the mothers took place only 10 minutes later than it should have.

Most wedding professionals know how to slip-in and do their job in a tough situation, but the crowd control and organized flow of the service is dependent on the ushers who are not professionals. Even with a wedding director or minister present, I have found they are so busy with the wedding party that they often forget about the ushers.

Here's a hint: think of ushers as your "dream team". They can do miracles to help if they are trained. Ushers seat the guests, take care of aisle cloth runners, find missing people, help communicate when there is a problem, light candles and give out wedding programs and bubbles or bird seed if another is not doing that. Once the ushers began seating the guests in the above scenario, the crisis calmed. I recall finding at the time, that they did not even know how to seat the guests so we got that organized too. Just so you have it also: ushers should seat the bride's guests on the left and the groom's on the right in a general Protestant setting. You can remember the correct side easily by thinking: "The bride always gets a ring and she wears it on her left hand... thus, her guests then sit on the left side." It is allowed, and wise, to mix the sides if you see the guests are unbalanced. For example, if there are more guests for the bride than the groom, it is actually courteous to balance the sides. That way it will not be awkward with 8 people on one side and 70 on the other. The guests are in support of the marriage not just the person, so watch for this courteous balance if necessary.

Avoiding the overlapping wedding situation can be covered by a simple discussion with the church or property. Good questions to ask are: Who unlocks the property? How early can the florist arrive or set-up begin? What is the time span allowed between the next ceremony in the same location? Is there a wedding before or after your wedding? Ask this question the week before your event because scheduling can change over a period of months. The happy ending to the overlapping wedding story was the reception actually regained its timing. There was a band at the reception (booked for 4 hours - the average hire time for a band or DJ) and the night went so well that the couple asked the band to stay a fifth hour so the guests could continue to dance. Of course, the photographer, videographer and limousine driver had to adjust to the extra hour too. All the professionals were paid for the overtime; this is a policy which you should discuss with each wedding professional before your event. Finally, wasn't it better that the overtime paid to the professionals was because the couple chose to pay it and not because they were forced to pay it because their wedding day was running late from a rough start?

On another occasion, a wedding ran late because the limo driver got lost. Not because he did not know where the garden was, but because there was road construction on his way and he got lost on the detour! Most professionals know the locations in their county, however it is a good idea to give maps to all your wedding professionals and your guests. Remember that people will be coming from different directions and a good map should give more than one route to a location. In another recent wedding, the limo never arrived to pick up the bridal party and bring them to the wedding site. The guests waited, standing up in a garden for one solid hour before alternate transportation was put into place. If your limo is more than 10 minutes late, take your own cars to the wedding site. There is no sense in inconveniencing your guests, your wedding professionals or accruing overtime costs the rest of the day. If you must drive yourselves, simply hope the limo will arrive afterwards to take you to the reception, which in this case, it did.

One final story for late weddings. Once the mother of the groom was left at the hotel because the limo driver did not know to pick her up. This was a sad situation for her. It caused both emotional and time table affects on the wedding day because no one knew why she was not there! She did finally get to the wedding, but not without great delay and hurt feelings on both sides. Now, you may be inclined to blame the limo drivers for the above blunders, but since when was your limo driver a part of your family? He will not know how many and who to pick up unless he is told. Clients are not given homing devices on their bodies so limo drivers can track their whereabouts! Only a map and a list of people to pick up will do. If there is a mechanical problem with the car, having your driver arrive early for pick up will allow you to make other plans in a timely fashion should the need arise. Be sure you have ways of staying in touch. There is no substitute for cell phones. Ask limo companies if they provide a cell phone for their drivers. This way he can be reached or he can reach you should a problem arise. If there is no cell phone, ask if there is a dispatcher on duty who can radio the driver in emergencies. If none of the above are available perhaps you should keep looking.

Garden Wedding Insights

The garden wedding is at its loveliest when chosen at the right time of year; in the midst of full bloom. It is not a great idea to schedule an outdoor wedding for the middle of the day during the hottest time of year. You may want to avoid the hurricane season and keep in mind, winter months in Florida can also bring some uncomfortable temperatures for outdoor events. Using your almanac to find out when the sun will rise and set or what rain or snow is expected is a great idea. Having an alternate site or a plan for rain is another, but changing locations can be tricky. If you have not announced the alternate site in advance, I suggest placing a "messenger" in the gardens to direct the guests to the new location. Actually, this should be done anyway because rain is not universal in our area. It could be clear at your home, but as you drive to the garden, it could rain. Having a "messenger" at the garden site to direct traffic to the new location will keep your site change smooth and also ensure all your wedding professionals appear at the right spot. Some will put up tents or canopies in the garden to relieve the worry of a move. Other gardens have gazebos that can be used if needed. Even a little thicket clearing under the protective arms of stately trees can shield from small showers. I recall a garden wedding where colorful umbrellas were distributed to all the guests in case of rain. The couple also used them as the wedding memento. When the rainbow of umbrellasd, they looked like bouquets of color in the passing sun shower. It was truly a lovely sight. I hated to see them close!

In many wedding traditions the bride and groom are treated as royalty. The entrance on a white carpet (sometimes red) is a symbol of that royalty within the wedding. You know that Cinderella entrance that every girl dreams of making? Well, picture yourself in a garden wedding with one of those thin rollout wedding runners and a high wind! I've seen brides get wrapped up in those runners like a cat swishing its tale around its legs. The brides nearly fall, then hobble to the altar area as they truly make the entrance of a lifetime. You say, "I really want the royal carpet treatment at my garden wedding, so how do I avoid this problem?" In an outdoor situation there is no need to "pull" an aisle cloth runner. If you must have a carpet, have it PRE-pulled and anchored to avoid this problem. Some discriminating locations and florists rent a real bound carpet that is a heavy rug and rolls out 20-30 feet. I've seen both white and red. This is worth the rental and it is solid, simple and safe. Here are some ideas to add beauty to your aisle and to hold down your wedding runner should the bound carpet not be available in your area.

Anchor your runner with a floral garland. You can use heavy decorative stones placed down both edges of the runner and then beautifully place a floral garland of flowers on the runner's edges around the stones. You can also use a floral garland on a string of white Christmas lights like the kind that are made to line driveways. Stick the light holders right through the thin pull-out runner to hold it to the ground. These twinkling lights and flowers are wonderful for sunset and evening weddings. Try to continue the light theme throughout the back yard or garden. Tiki torches are too smoky for an aisle, but are sometimes used to light the outer garden area. If you don't want to decorate the entire length of both sides of the center aisle, you can use heavy, low, potted plants every so often. Consider the width of your dress and its length before making the above decorative choices. The look is truly unforgettable and works well with tea length dresses or ones with no bulk or long trains. You don't want to sweep up your flowers as you pass them. On a wooden deck or concrete, you can tape the cloth runner down at little cost. Be sure to sweep the dirt and dust from under the tape so you will get a good seal. In soft soil gardens you can make long "U" shaped anchors out of coat hangers. Stick them right through the runner and into the ground. Do this about every 1-2 feet. For a more romantic look, couple this simple anchor with use of garlands, lights and tulle draped on the shoulders of the chairs lining the center aisle. The only problem with full garland aisles or pre-pulled runners is that guests can't be seated from the center as the aisle is only for the wedding party. This is simply solved by placing a ribbon across the back of the center aisle and seating your guests from the outside aisles. Floral arches are frequently used in outdoor weddings. They are lovely graceful things but need some attention to be used safely. Last March (a windy month) one took flight, hit me in the head, knocked me and my harp down and pinned me underneath. Someone came along and got me out, then we fixed it so the bride would have no problems as this was during set up. The moral of the story is... when you are outdoors, be sure that all arches and floral stands get anchored securely. The floral stands and arches are the most problematic. All flower pots should be securely taped to the stand so dresses and shoes don't get baptized with potting soil throughout the ceremony. There are many colors of duct tape and this can be done unobtrusively. Tulle can tie the arch to fences, railings or docks. It flows well with the flowers and other wedding decor«. In soft ground, it can also be tied in bows around the bottoms of the plant stands, then anchored invisibly by stakes on all four sides. Most florists are aware of these problems, but you might find it enlightening to ask what special precautions they use when setting flowers outdoors. If they don't know what you are talking about, I might wonder if they were the ones who christened me with the floral arch last March!

I'm sure you know by now that mistakes are a part of life. If you are planning a wedding, you'll be experiencing lots of "life" as the plan rages on. Let your Bloops and Blunders work themselves out into blessings. Blessings always come from people working together in positive ways in challenging times. No matter what happens on your road to the wedding day and beyond, look at your experiences as "life happenings" so your Bloops and Blunders make you wise with Signs and Wonders.

Melody Long Anglin is a renowned harpist, vocalist, workshop coordinator and private instructor. She is also a liturgist available for wedding consultation and coordination. For more information, please call or toll free or email Anglinhous